Core value · Kindness family
Respect
Honouring others’ worth and boundaries
Also covers Courtesy, Politeness and Reverence
What does respect mean as a core value?
Respect as a core value means treating everyone with basic regard and courtesy, whatever their role, and honouring their boundaries, time and choices in everyday interactions.
Everyone you meet, from the chief executive to the person emptying the bins, is owed a basic regard, and you notice when it’s missing. Respect as a value shapes the details: arriving on time, letting people finish, knocking before walking in, asking before assuming. It also means honouring boundaries, including ones you don’t fully understand. Courtesy and politeness matter to you because they’re how people show that others count.
What does respect look like in practice?
- You arrive on time because lateness tells people your time matters more than theirs.
- You ask before sharing someone’s news, photo or idea with others.
- You listen to the end of a point before responding, even when you disagree.
- You use the names and forms of address people prefer, and get them right.
- You accept a no without pushing for reasons.
When is respect overplayed?
Respect overplayed can become excessive deference. You hold back a challenge because it might seem disrespectful to someone senior, stay formal when warmth would help, or never question a boundary even when a conversation would help both of you. It can also become a demand: taking offence quickly when others don’t meet your standard of courtesy. The healthy version sees honest disagreement as a form of respect and gives regard freely. Next time you disagree with someone senior, you could simply ask, “Can I offer a different view?”
Often confused with
Respect vs Kindness
Kindness is warmth and gentleness towards others. Respect is about honouring worth and boundaries, and you can respect someone deeply without being especially warm.
Respect vs Acceptance
Acceptance is taking people as they are. Respect can disagree with how someone lives and still treat them with full regard.
Respect vs Equality
Equality is the belief that everyone has equal worth and rights. Respect is how that belief shows up in individual interactions, down to how you say hello.
Respect vs Self-respect
Self-respect is treating yourself as worthy. Respect points the same regard outwards, towards everyone else.
Questions to sit with
- Whose boundaries do you find hardest to honour, and why those ones?
- When have you held back an honest challenge in the name of respect?
- Who do you treat with less courtesy than others, and what does that reveal?
More values in Kindness
Warmth, gratitude and generosity towards others.
About the author
Matt Rutherford is a Career and Leadership Coach. The Values Finder is the same exercise he uses with his coaching clients. He also writes Stuff that MattRs, a weekly newsletter with practical ideas to help you think clearer and work better.
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