What does control mean as a core value?
Control as a core value means keeping a firm, steady hand on the things in your care, knowing where they stand and having a plan for when they go wrong.
When something important is at stake, you want your hands on it. You like to know where things stand, who is doing what, and what happens if it goes wrong. Valuing control often comes from experience: you’ve seen what happens when nobody holds the wheel. It gives the people around you a sense that someone is on top of things, and it lets you sleep. Surprises, loose ends and vague plans make you uneasy until you’ve got a grip on them.
What does control look like in practice?
- You ask for regular updates on the projects that carry the most risk.
- You keep the family finances, calendar or travel bookings in your own hands.
- You sign off final versions yourself before they go out.
- You plan for what could go wrong and have a fallback ready.
- You step in quickly when a situation starts to drift.
When is control overplayed?
A firm hand can squeeze. Overplayed, control shows up as checking work that didn’t need checking, making decisions others were capable of making, and struggling when events genuinely can’t be managed, like illness, markets or other people’s choices. Teams stop thinking for themselves, and loved ones can feel managed when you meant to care for them. Kept in proportion, it holds tightly to what matters and lets go of the rest. Try picking one thing you’d hand over this week if you trusted it would be fine, and hand it over.
Often confused with
Control vs Power
Power is the capacity to influence people and outcomes, often widely. Control is about keeping a steady, managed grip on the things in your care.
Control vs Self-control
Self-control is managing your own impulses and reactions. Control is about managing situations, plans and outcomes around you.
Control vs Autonomy
Autonomy wants choice over your own work and life. Control extends to the outcome and often to the things and people that affect it.
Questions to sit with
- What are you holding on to that someone else could do well enough?
- What happens inside you when something important is out of your hands?
- Who around you has stopped offering ideas because you’ll decide anyway?
More values in Order
Structure, precision and control.
About the author
Matt Rutherford is a Career and Leadership Coach. The Values Finder is the same exercise he uses with his coaching clients. He also writes Stuff that MattRs, a weekly newsletter with practical ideas to help you think clearer and work better.
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