Core value · Truth family
Honesty
Telling the truth, including the uncomfortable parts
Also covers Candour
What does honesty mean as a core value?
Honesty as a core value means telling people the truth, including the awkward parts that matter most, and never setting out to mislead them.
Saying the awkward thing is less uncomfortable for you than leaving it unsaid. The parts of the truth that matter most are usually the ones nobody wants to hear: the plan has a flaw, the deadline won’t be met, the haircut isn’t great. You value candour in others too, and you’d rather have blunt feedback than polite silence. A white lie told to smooth things over can nag at you for days.
What does honesty look like in practice?
- You tell your manager a target is unrealistic before agreeing to it.
- You answer “how was it?” with a real answer, kindly put.
- You point it out when a shop has undercharged you.
- You take feedback straight to a colleague before it goes anywhere near their boss.
- You tell your child you don’t know the answer, and offer to find out together.
When is honesty overplayed?
Honesty without judgement can bruise. You may say every true thing, whether or not it helps, and then feel misunderstood when people call it harsh. Candour can become a way of offloading your discomfort onto someone else, and it can leave little room for tact, timing or the quiet choice not to comment. Healthy honesty never deceives, and it also asks what the other person needs and whether this is the moment. Truthful and kind can usually go together. Before your next piece of candid feedback, you could ask yourself who it’s mainly for.
Often confused with
Honesty vs Integrity
Integrity is broader: acting in line with your principles even when nobody asks and nothing needs to be said. Honesty is about telling the truth when you do speak.
Honesty vs Truth
Truth is about seeking what is real. Honesty is about how you pass it on: never misleading the people you’re talking to.
Honesty vs Transparency
Transparency is volunteering your reasons and information. Honesty is not deceiving anyone, which doesn’t always mean telling them everything.
Questions to sit with
- What true thing have you been softening for so long that it’s no longer really true?
- Who do you find it hardest to be honest with, and what are you protecting?
- When did your honesty last help someone, and when did it mainly help you feel better?
More values in Truth
Honesty, openness and being who you say you are.
About the author
Matt Rutherford is a Career and Leadership Coach. The Values Finder is the same exercise he uses with his coaching clients. He also writes Stuff that MattRs, a weekly newsletter with practical ideas to help you think clearer and work better.
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